Monday, October 18, 2010

Forever the D Pillar: 7 Great Wagons

I catch a lot of crap for this, but I love wagons. They offer all the practicality of an SUV with most of the performance of their sedan counterpart. But these days, the wagon is a dying breed, recognized as “ugly” and “for old people”. This is a shame, because some wagons are truly awesome. Such as-

1)      BMW M5 Touring (E34)


My. God. I love this thing. Like, really, this has to be my favorite car ever. Though a new camry may be a bit faster, I say pffft! Nothing can match this sort of awesome. It has a 340 hp 3.8 liter inline 6 derived from the engine powering the famous M1 supercar. It has a 6-speed dogleg gearbox, one of the first. And it’s a motherfucking wagon. Though the E34 sedan is just as lust-worthy, there’s something special about a homely wagon that was faster, and dynamically superior, to, say, a Corvette of the era. This car must be the peak of the M5 line, which has a lot of peaks.
Like this one.

2)      Subaru Outback

Whenever people ask me “what car should I get?” one of my automatic answers is “Subaru Outback”. It’s one of the best all-around cars you can get: practical, fuel-efficient, dead reliable, killer in the weather, etc. Plus, I can think of very few cars I’d prefer to hoon. It’s a capable alternative to an SUV, unless you need to tow huge shit. And it has most of the dynamics of a regular car on-road, which is good, because it’s available with a turbocharged flat-four and a 6-speed. It exceeds at everything.

3)      Toyota Tercel SR-5

The Tercel 4x4 wagon is way cool because it’s pretty much the same as the Outback above, but packed full of Japaneese funkiness. It’s all tiny, and so much fun, and the back looks like an atm.
Neato!

4)      Subaru WRX Wagon

I mean, look at that thing! It’s so cool! Plus, its all turbocharged, and stick-shifted, and with more weight over the back wheels, it even has a better weight balance! And I promise you, a good WRX wagon will be just as fun on the road or in the dirt. Just stay away from that ugly hatchback that replaced this in 2008. God, that thing is ugly.
Herp-derp.

5)      Volvo 245

I love this car just because it’s so simple! It is the Toyota pickup of the wagon world. Not to mention, it was available in this sweet turbo version, which is way awesome, because it’s still an ugly Volvo wagon, just faster. An alternative to this would be a Mercedes W123 Wagon, since it was available in the states with a diesel engine that would literally never die. But now they’re all driven by hippies who fuel them with dirty French fry oil. Gross.
Get a job!

6)      Toyota Camry Wagon

I love this car for the same reasons I love the 245. But this needed special mention because it’s so awkwardly styled. Look at it, all like “herp-derp, lets go to school!”. It’s just so adorable.
It could be worse.

7)      Audi RS2 Avant

I saved the second best, for last. This started out as a humble Audi 80 Avant, which is cool enough to begin with, but then it was stuffed with the inline 5 derived from the Audi Sport Quattro, and then had the chassis tweaked by Porsche (yes, Porsche) by way of new coilovers and brakes. These are ever so coveted today, and this just started Audi’s fascination with obscenely fast wagons, culminating with the new RS6 Avant.
This wagon has more power than a Ferrari 458.

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